章节目录 I AM A CORPSE

(88106 www.88106.info)    Iamnothingbutacorpsenow,abodyatthebottomofawell.ThoughIdrewmylastbreathlongagoandmyhearthasstoppedbeating,noone,apartfromthatvilemurderer,knowswhat’shappenedtome.Asforthatwretch,hefeltformypulseandlistenedformybreathtobesureIwasdead,thenkickedmeinthemidriff,carriedmetotheedgeofthewell,raisedmeupanddroppedmebelow.AsIfell,myhead,whichhe’dsmashedwithastone,brokeapart;myface,myforeheadandcheeks,werecrushed;mybonesshattered,andmymouthfilledwithblood.

    FornearlyfourdaysIhavebeenmissing:Mywifeandchildrenmustbesearchingforme;mydaughter,spentfromcrying,mustbestaringfretfullyatthecourtyardgate.Yes,Iknowthey’reallatthewindow,hopingformyreturn.

    But,aretheytrulywaiting?Ican’tevenbesureofthat.Maybethey’vegottenusedtomyabsence—howdismal!Forhere,ontheotherside,onegetsthefeelingthatone’sformerlifepersists.Beforemybirththerewasinfinitetime,andaftermydeath,inexhaustibletime.Ineverthoughtofitbefore:I’dbeenlivingluminouslybetweentwoeternitiesofdarkness.

    Iwashappy;IknownowthatI’dbeenhappy.ImadethebestilluminationsinOurSultan’sworkshop;noonecouldrivalmymastery.ThroughtheworkIdidprivately,Iearnedninehundredsilvercoinsamonth,which,naturally,onlymakesallofthisevenhardertobear.

    Iwasresponsibleforpaintingandembellishingbooks.Iilluminatedtheedgesofpages,coloringtheirborderswiththemostlifelikedesignsofleaves,branches,roses,flowersandbirds.IpaintedscallopedChinese-styleclouds,clustersofoverlappingvinesandforestsofcolorthathidgazelles,galleys,sultans,trees,palaces,horsesandhunters.Inmyyouth,Iwoulddecorateaplate,orthebackofamirror,orachest,orattimes,theceilingofamansionorofaBosphorusmanor,oreven,awoodenspoon.Inlateryears,however,IonlyworkedonmanuscriptpagesbecauseOurSultanpaidwellforthem.Ican’tsayitseemsinsignificantnow.Youknowthevalueofmoneyevenwhenyou’redead.

    Afterhearingthemiracleofmyvoice,youmightthink,“Whocareswhatyouearnedwhenyouwerealive?Telluswhatyousee.Istherelifeafterdeath?

    Where’syoursoul?WhataboutHeavenandHell?What’sdeathlike?Areyouinpain?”You’reright,thelivingareextremelycuriousabouttheAfterlife.

    Maybeyou’veheardthestoryofthemanwhowassodrivenbythiscuriositythatheroamedamongsoldiersinbattlefields.Hesoughtamanwho’ddiedandreturnedtolifeamidthewoundedstrugglingfortheirlivesinpoolsofblood,asoldierwhocouldtellhimaboutthesecretsoftheOtherworld.ButoneofTamerlane’swarriors,takingtheseekerfortheenemy,cleavedhiminhalfwithasmoothstrokeofhisscimitar,causinghimtoconcludethatintheHereaftermangetssplitintwo.

    Nonsense!Quitetheopposite,I’devensaythatsoulsdividedinlifemergeintheHereafter.Contrarytotheclaimsofsinfulinfidelswho’vefallenundertheswayoftheDevil,thereisindeedanotherworld,thankGod,andtheproofisthatI’mspeakingtoyoufromhere.I’vedied,butasyoucanplainlytell,Ihaven’tceasedtobe.Granted,Imustconfess,Ihaven’tencounteredtheriversflowingbesidethesilverandgoldkiosksofHeaven,thebroad-leavedtreesbearingplumpfruitandthebeautifulvirginsmentionedintheGloriousKoran—thoughIdoverywellrecallhowoftenandenthusiasticallyImadepicturesofthosewide-eyedhourisdescribedinthechapter“ThatWhichIsComing.”Noristhereatraceofthoseriversofmilk,wine,freshwaterandhoneydescribedwithsuchflourish,notintheKoran,butbyvisionarydreamerslikeIbnArabi.ButIhavenointentionoftemptingthefaithofthosewholiverightfullythroughtheirhopesandvisionsoftheOtherworld,soletmedeclarethatallI’veseenrelatesspecificallytomyownverypersonalcircumstances.Anybelieverwithevenalittleknowledgeoflifeafterdeathwouldknowthatamalcontentinmystatewouldbehard-pressedtoseetheriversofHeaven.

    Inshort,I,whoamknownasMasterElegantEffendi,amdead,butIhavenotbeenburied,andthereforemysoulhasnotcompletelyleftmybody.Thisextraordinarysituation,althoughnaturallymycaseisn’tthefirst,hasinflictedhorriblesufferingupontheimmortalpartofme.ThoughIcannotfeelmycrushedskullormydecomposingbodycoveredinwounds,fullofbrokenbonesandpartiallysubmergedinice-coldwater,Idofeelthedeeptormentofmysoulstrugglingdesperatelytoescapeitsmortalcoil.It’sasifthewholeworld,alongwithmybody,werecontractingintoabolusofanguish.

    IcanonlycomparethiscontractiontothesurprisingsenseofreleaseIfeltduringtheunequaledmomentofmydeath.Yes,Iinstantlyunderstoodthatthewretchwantedtokillmewhenheunexpectedlystruckmewithastoneandcrackedmyskull,butIdidn’tbelievehe’dfollowthrough.IsuddenlyrealizedIwasahopefulman,somethingIhadn’tbeenawareofwhilelivingmylifeintheshadowsbetweenworkshopandhousehold.Iclungpassionately

    tolifewithmynails,myfingersandmyteeth,whichIsankintohisskin.Iwon’tboreyouwiththepainfuldetailsofthesubsequentblowsIreceived.

    WheninthecourseofthisagonyIknewIwoulddie,anincrediblefeelingofrelieffilledme.Ifeltthisreliefduringthemomentofdeparture;myarrivaltothissidewassoothing,likethedreamofseeingoneselfasleep.Thesnow-andmud-coveredshoesofmymurdererwerethelastthingsInoticed.IclosedmyeyesasifIweregoingtosleep,andIgentlypassedover.

    Mypresentcomplaintisn’tthatmyteethhavefallenlikenutsintomybloodymouth,oreventhatmyfacehasbeenmaimedbeyondrecognition,orthatI’vebeenabandonedinthedepthsofawell—it’sthateveryoneassumesI’mstillalive.Mytroubledsoulisanguishedthatmyfamilyandintimates,who,yes,thinkofmeoften,imaginemeengagedintrivialdealingssomewhereinIstanbul,orevenchasingafteranotherwoman.Enough!Findmybodywithoutdelay,prayformeandhavemeburied.Aboveall,findmymurderer!

    Forevenifyouburymeinthemostmagnificentoftombs,solongasthatwretchremainsfree,I’llwritherestlesslyinmygrave,waitingandinfectingyouallwithfaithlessness.Findthatson-of-a-whoremurdererandI’lltellyouindetailjustwhatIseeintheAfterlife—butknowthis,afterhe’scaught,hemustbetorturedbyslowlysplinteringeightortenofhisbones,preferablyhisribs,withavisebeforepiercinghisscalpwithskewersmadeespeciallyforthetaskbytorturersandpluckingouthisdisgusting,oilyhair,strandbystrand,soheshriekseachtime.

    Whoisthismurdererwhovexesmeso?Whyhashekilledmeinsuchasurprisingway?Becuriousandmindfulofthesematters.Yousaytheworldisfullofbaseandworthlesscriminals?Perhapsthisonedidit,perhapsthatone?

    Inthatcaseletmecautionyou:Mydeathconcealsanappallingconspiracyagainstourreligion,ourtraditionsandthewayweseetheworld.Openyoureyes,discoverwhytheenemiesofthelifeinwhichyoubelieve,ofthelifeyou’reliving,andofIslam,havedestroyedme.Learnwhyonedaytheymightdothesametoyou.Onebyone,everythingpredictedbythegreatpreacherNusretHojaofErzurum,towhomI’vetearfullylistened,iscomingtopass.Letmesayalsothatifthesituationintowhichwe’vefallenweredescribedinabook,eventhemostexpertofminiaturistscouldneverhopetoillustrateit.AswiththeKoran—GodforbidI’mmisunderstood—thestaggeringpowerofsuchabookarisesfromtheimpossibilityofitsbeingdepicted.Idoubtyou’vefullycomprehendedthisfact.

    Listentome.WhenIwasanapprentice,Itoofearedandthusignoredunderlyingtruthsandvoicesfrombeyond.I’djokeaboutsuchmatters.But

    I’veendedupinthedepthsofthisdeplorablewell!Itcouldhappentoyou,bewary.Now,I’venothinglefttodobuthopeformythoroughdecay,sotheycanfindmebytracingmystench.I’venothingtodobuthope—andimaghetorturethatsomebenevolentmanwillinflictuponthatbeastlymurdereroncehe’sbeencaught.

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