章节目录 Part Two-1

(88106 www.88106.info)    PERHAPSweshouldnotbesittingheretendingthevatsandwashingthebuildingsandcarryingthemoneytothevaultonceaweek,likeeverybodyelse.Perhapsweshouldbedoingsomethingelseentirely,withourlives.Godknowswhat.Wedowhatwedowithoutthinking.endsthevatsandwashesthebuildingsandcarriesthemoneytothevaultandneverstopsforamomenttoconsiderthatthewholeprocessmaybedespicable.Someonestandingsomewheredespisingus.InthehotspringsofDax,agoutythinkerthinking,fatherforgivethem.Itwasworsebefore.Thatissomethingthatcansafelybesaid.ItwasworsebeforewefoundSnowWhitewanderingintheforest.BeforewefoundSnowWhitewanderingintheforestwelivedlivesstuffedwithequanimity.Therewasequanimityforall.Wewashedthebuildings,tendedthevats,wendedourwaytothecountycathouseonceaweek(heigh-ho).Likeeverybodyelse.Weweresimplebourgeois.Weknewwhattodo.WhenwefoundSnowWhitewanderingintheforest,hungryanddistraught,wesaid:"Wouldyoulikesomethingtoeat?"Nowwedonotknowwhattodo.SnowWhitehasaddedadimensionofconfusionandmiserytoourlives.Whereasonceweweresimplebourgeoiswhoknewwhattodo,nowwearecomplexbourgeoiswhoareataloss.Wedonotlikethiscomplexity.Wecircleitwearily,proddingitfromtimetotimewithashopkeepersforefinger:Whatisit?Isit,perhaps,badforbusiness?Equanimityhasleakedaway.Therewasamoment,however,whenequanimitywasnotthechiefconsideration.ThatmomentinwhichwelookedatSnowWhiteandunderstoodforthefirsttimethatwewerefondofher.Thatwasamoment.

    Reactiontothehair:TwooldermenstandingthereobservedSnowWhiteshairblackasebonytumblingfromthewindow."Seemslikesomehaircominoutathatwindathere,"onesaid."Yesitlookslikehairtome,"hiscompanionreplied."Seemslikethereoughtabesomethintobedoneaboutit.""Yes,seemslikeitoughtabepunishedwithakissorsomething.""Wellweretoooldforallthat.YouneedaPaulorPaul-figureforthatsortofactivity.ProbablyPaulisevennowstandinginthewings,girdinghispantsforhisentrance.SoIguessIllgoalongtothehiringhall,whereIheartheremightbesomework.""Illgoalongwithyou,"theothermansaid,"becauseeventhoughIaintaA.B.,IamaB.A.,andmaybeinthedimnessthehingwillbetakenfortheother,andwecanshipouttogether.""Ihatetogoawayandleaveallthathairhangingthereunmolestedasitwere,"thefirstmansaid,"butwehaveadutytoourfamilies,andtothecountrysmerchantfleet,somevesselsofwhicharenowlanguishingattheirberthsdoubtless,downatPier27andPier32,forthelackothelikesofus.Sofarewell,hair!Faretheewell,andifforever,stillforever,faretheewell!"

    Reactiontothehair:Fredtherock-and-rollbandleaderaddressedhismen."Men,somethinghappenedtometodayonMonumentStreet.Isawawallofhairblackasebonyfallingfromahighwindow.Agirl,alookMen,everythingischanged.Iamchanged.IamnolongertheFredofformertimes.AndIsaythatthingsmustbedifferentwithyou,too,becauseyouaremymen,andIamyourleader.Nowitisquitecleartomethatyoumenwishtoplaythebuffalomusicofyourforefathersratherthantherock-and-rollwehavepatented,amplified,advertisedandbeenpaidfor.NowIwanttosayrightnow,thatthatsallrightwithme,thebuffalomusicImean.Fromthisdayforward,untiltheendoftime,itwillbenothingbutbuffalomusic,inallthedromesoftheworld.Idontcarearap,thatshowallrightitiswithme,thisfreedomthatIfreelygrantyou,thatourgrayhideshavebeenhankeringfor.Nowthat,withalook,thismysteriousdarkbeautyhaschangedmylife,whichneededtobechanged,weare,inastrangeway,openedtoourselves,andtobuffalomusic,untiltheredslagofthenooispheredescendstocovereverythingwiththesaltyfinalityoflove.Sogoforthnowwithyouramplifiersandall,andreviseyourlivesupward,asIhaverevisedmine.Putthequestionmercilessly:Wherehavethebuffalogone?"Fredsmenexchangedsilentlooks."Itsalwayslikethis,"thelookssaid,"inthespring.Itsalwaysthisway,whenthegreencomesagain.Ourleadersuffersaspiritualregeneration,fromabadmanintoagoodman.Itsalwayssomegirl,wholooksathim,atwhichhefallsintoherpowerabsolutely.Wearetiredofhavingforaleaderonewhoisnothingelsethanadamnedfool.Letsgodowntotheunionhall,now,andwriteoutthespecificationsforagrievanceagainsthim,underSectionFour,thegrievancesection,ofourunionconstitution.Andwecanthinkofotherthings,too,toaddtothelistofcharges.Thatwillbeamusing,writingoutthecharges."

    Reactiontothehair:"Well,thatiscertainlyalotofhairhangingthere,"Billreflected."Anditseemstobehangingfromourwindowstoo.Imean,thosewindowswherethehairishangingareinourhouse,surely?Nowwhoamongstushasthatmuchhair,blackasebony?Iamonlypretendingtoaskmyselfthisquestion.Thedistastefulanswerisalreadyknowntome,asisthesignificanceofthisact,thishanging,aswellasthesexualmeaningofhairitself,onwhichWursthaswritten.Idontmeanthathehaswrittenonthehair,butratheraboutit,fromprehistorytothepresenttime.Therecanbeonlyoneanswer.ItisSnowWhite.ItisSnowWhitewhohastakenthisstep,themeaningofwhichiscleartoallofus.Allsevenofusknowwhatthismeans.Itmeansthatsheisnothingelsebutagoddamndegenerate!isonewayoflookingatit,atthiscomplexanddifficultquestion.Itmeansthatthenot-withisexperiencedasmorepressing,morereal,thanthebeing-with.Itmeanssheseeksanewlover.Quelletragédie!Buttheessentiallonelinessofthepersonmustalsobeconsidered.Eachofusislikeatinysinglehair,hurledintotheworldamongbillionsandbillionsofotherhairs,ofvariouscolorsandlengths.AndifGoddoesnotexist,thenweareinevengravershapethanwehadsupposed.Inthatcase,eachofusislikeatinylittlemoteofpointlessness,whirlinginthemidstofadreadfulfreeevengreaterpointlessness,unlessthereisintelligentlifeonotherpls,thatistosay,lifeevenmoreintelligentthanus,lifethathasthoughtupsomepointforthisgreatenterprise,life.Thatispossible.Thatissomethingwedonotknow,thankGod.Butinthemeantime,hereisthehair,withitsmultiplemeanings.WhatamItodoaboutit?"

    Reactiontothehair(flashback):Paulsatinhisbaff,underthefallingwater.Morehotwaterfellintothebaff."Iwouldretractthegreensea,andthebrownfishinit,andIwouldespeciallyretractthatlongblackhairhangingfromthatwindow,thatIsawtodayonmywayhere,fromtheUnemploymentOffice.Ithasmademeterriblynervous,thathair.Itwasbeautiful,Iadmitit.Longblackhairofsuchtexture,fineness,isnoteasilycomeby.Hairblackasebony!Yetithasmademeterriblynervous.Teethpianolessons"

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